week 16, post 3

I have learned so much during this course on how to handle conflict. At first I was not sure what I was getting myself into when I knew I was taking a conflict class, but it ended up being much different than what I was expecting. I learned what to do when conflict occurs and how to control my anger. I think these two things I learned not only helped me for this class, but will help me throughout my life. Having these types of skills will allow me to confront any type of conflict with a calm, open mind and I will know what to do when I am in an uncomfortable situation. This class also taught me how to deal with my anger and what steps to take when something is troubling me. This skill will help me outside of this class because it seems like people are always trying to get under your skin and knowing how to deal with that type of situation is important. Overall, this class taught me a lot and I enjoyed taking this class.

week 16, post 2

This class was one of my favorite classes I have taken at SJSU. I like how our professor gave us updates weekly and would always respond to our emails right away. Another thing I enjoyed about this class was the weekly posts. I thought it allowed me to express myself as well as communicate with other classmates even though we have never met in person. The thing I liked least about this class was the semester long project. I thought it was very difficult, even though I did well on it. I thought it was very time consuming and it was challenging to keep up with everything at first. I would recommend this class to other students and I already have done that. I thought this class was challenging enough but not impossible to pass or enjoy. Some of the people I have told to take this class are taking it next semester. Overall, I thought this class was great and I enjoyed taking it.

week 16, post 1

When people think of conflict they instantly think of something negative or something they do not want to be a part of. Conflict has a negative thing about it that people get scared and people become scared about what is going to happen to them. The main thing when dealing with conflict is understanding how to assess and handle the situation. When people think of conflict they think of something bad. Conflict does not always have to be something negative. Conflict can be negative, but it can also be positive, which many people are not aware of. Once someone understands the types of conflict and how to deal with a situation, they will be much more comfortable during conflict. From a personal experience, I am way less fearful or nervous when I am in a conflict situation. It does not matter whether it is a positive or negative conflict, I feel that what I have learned throughout this course has allowed me to deal with conflict in the right matter.

week 11, post 3

The concept I am going to take from this week’s assigned reading is false and accurate attributions. People make attributions about others all of the time. I think a lot of it has to do with assumptions. Many people make assumptions and that can lead to false attributions as well as accurate attributions. For example, I made a false attribution about a teammate when I didn’t know him very well. I thought he was kind of a cocky kid who liked to talk and I had a little problem with him for some reason. I made this false attribution from what other people had told me but did not give him a chance before I actually knew him. It turned out he was actually a good guy and he is pretty funny. Another example is when I met another teammate and thought he was a very good player and a funny guy. I also didn’t know him very well but that is what it seemed like. It turned out I was right and made an accurate attribution about this guy. I think making attributions can be very challenging because you do not know if they are accurate or false.

week 11, post 2

I think people make false attributions al of the time. I think false attributions can be very harmful to relationships and friendships. There have been plenty of times where I have made some false attributions about other people and it has not lead to something positive. My false attributions have usually led to some kind of an argument. I think false attributions happen because people assume things and they do not know the clear facts. When people assume things about others it usually is not positive assumptions which usually leads to a conflict. Whenever I have made false attributions it usually does not lead to something very big but it most of the time leads to a little bit of a conflict. There have also been some times that making accurate attributions about others that have helped me. There have been times where I think someone is thinking something and I have been right. I think that people do make some accurate attributions but most of them are false which leads to some conflict.

week 11, post 1

When searching the internet for the three terms I used Google. I usually use Google for most of my research. When searching “forgiveness” the first website that came up was Wikipedia. I think most searches I do the first thing that comes up is usually Wikipedia. I also saw a couple of websites about how the Bible teaches people to forgive. I also saw a website that said “A Campaign for Forgiveness Research.” When I looked up “reconciliation” the first website that came up were two Wikipedia sites. Another website that came up in my search was Dictionary.com which is a website that gave the definition and meaning of reconciliation. There were also just a bunch of random sites that came along with the search. The third word I search was “revenge.” When I searched revenge the first website that came up was two websites that had “Full Episodes” of a show called “Revenge.” The next thing that came up was a Wikipedia page. There were some more “Revenge” websites for the TV show along with some random websites. The term that produced the most sites was “forgiveness.” I think that term has so many meanings which is why that produced the most websites during my search.  

week 10, post 3

The concept I am going to pick from this week’s reading is the second question response about forgiving others. One of the most difficult things in life is forgiving people. People these days like to hold grudges and lose trust in others who betray them. When something happens to me I try to forgive and forget. Although it is easier said than done, I try to do that whenever someone betrays my trust. Trust is one of the most important things in any type of relationship, whether it is romantic or just a friendship. I am not currently having any trouble forgiving someone but there was a time during my freshman year of college where I did. One of my roommates had “borrowed” a pair of shorts from me. He did not ask me if he could wear them but if he did I would have said yes without hesitation. I saw him wearing my shorts one day and I asked if those were mine. The first thing he said was “no.” I believed him because I did not know if he had the same pair. The next day I went to my dresser to wear those shorts and they were not there. I put two and two together and realized my roommate was wearing them the day before. I confronted him and then he admitted to “borrowing” them, even though he didn’t ask. I found it very hard to trust him from then on. We were still friends but I made sure to keep an eye on him at all times. It is hard to live with someone you don’t fully trust. Although I am still friends with the kid I do not fully trust him and I don’t think I ever will.  

week 10, post 2

I think one of the hardest things to do in life is forgive. People get so angry or upset at something or someone that they have a very difficult time forgiving them and hold grudges. When I come across a conflict or some sort of difficulty I try to forgive and forget. It was way easier said than done though. Currently I am not having trouble with forgiving anyone but there have been times in the past where it has been difficult for me. My freshman year of college, one of my roommates had “borrowed” a pair of shorts from me. He did not ask me if he could wear them but if he did I would have said yes without hesitation. I saw him wearing my shorts one day and I asked if those were mine. The first thing he said was “no.” I believed him because I did not know if he had the same pair. The next day I went to my dresser to wear those shorts and they were not there. I put two and two together and realized my roommate was wearing them the day before. I confronted him and then he admitted to “borrowing” them, even though he didn’t ask. I found it very hard to trust him from then on. We were still friends but I made sure to keep an eye on him at all times. It is hard to live with someone you don’t fully trust. Although I am still friends with the kid I do not fully trust him and I don’t think I ever will.  

week 10, post 1

I am a member of a couple social networks. I am a member of Facebook and Twitter. I have had a Facebook since high school and I have been using Twitter for about a year now. I do not really use my Facebook anymore so I am going to talk about how I use and represent myself on Twitter. On Twitter I try to represent myself as a normal guy who likes to play baseball, hang out, and have a good time. I never post anything that would put myself in a bad situation or make people think differently of me. I use the thinking that “I would never put anything on Twitter my grandma wouldn’t want to see.” I hope people see me as a professional. I never post anything bad about anyone else and never have any swear words. I try to keep things cool and I never talk about myself trying to tell people how good or bad I am. There have been a few times when people have posted some questionable things on my Twitter. I wished they didn’t put those kind of things and once I see them I instantly delete it because I do not want myself represented in the manor.

week 9, post 3

The concept I found most interesting from this week’s reading was work versus play. I think it is important to have a balance between work and play and I believe that is where most people struggle. I make sure that I have a good balance of work and play. When I was a freshman at SJSU I took a “leisure” class. The course was called “Creating A Meaningful Life.” The class taught me how to make sure I am having “leisure time” or “me time” along with working hard. I thought this class taught me a lot because some people get so wrapped up in their work or their jobs they do not know how to have some fun and forget about their obligations. It is a good thing to forget about for responsibilities for a little but and allow yourself to enjoy your life and not always be in work mode. Overall, this class taught me to have a bit more fun and not just focus on work or school and to have some fun.

week 9, post 2

I think people have many different ways of expressing themselves when they are angry. Some people blow up, others express themselves calmly, while others do not express themselves at all. Personally, I am person who does not express my feelings. I chose not to express my feelings because I like to keep things in. I am not a very quiet person and I like to talk but when it comes to feelings I tend to keep them to myself. I feel that it is better when I keep my feelings to myself because that is just the way I am. I feel that not expressing my feelings it has different outcomes. Sometimes I feel that not expressing myself is good because I do not let people know what I am thinking and they cannot tell if I am upset or in a good mood. On the other hand, if I am in a really bad mood and I keep my feelings in it can be a little depressing or stressful. Overall, I think keeping my feelings in benefits me because that is always the way I have been and I like keeping feelings to myself.

week 9, post 1

In life people experience work, school, and other commitments. Many people prefer to have other commitments like sports, television, hanging with friends, etc. instead of school or work. I think it all depends on how you live your life and how you go about your business. Some people get really wrapped up in work or school and do not allow themselves to have “leisure” time. Other people experience a lot of “leisure” and do not take work or school very serious. This chapter refers talks about the difference between work and play. I plan to apply school and work commitments in a very distinct way that tributes each of the “three solutions.” I think making a clear distinction between work and play is very important to me. I tend to have a lot of play time because I play a sport as well as have tons of time to hang out with my friends off the field. When I “play” I have a really good time and enjoy myself. I know that my definition of play might be a little different from another person’s definition of play but as long as the person finds leisure I think it is good. I believe that eliminating stress from work or school and finding time to have some fun or leisure is very important to living a healthy lifestyle.

week 7, post 3

The concept I am going to take from this week’s reading is trust. Trust is a major factor in any type of relationship. If you have trust you will have a long and successful relationship, and it you do not have trust your relationship will crumble. For example, I was really good friends with a kid all through high school and when we went away to college I heard that he was spreading rumors about me. I was very hurt by his actions and we did not talk for a long time. I had no idea why he would be saying things about me since we were such good friends all through high school. After not speaking to one another for a while he ended up calling me and apologizing to me for what he had done. I accepted his apology but did not completely trust him yet. It took a lot for him to prove himself to me again. We still hung out but I didn’t trust him. After a long time of hanging out and being friends again, I started to trust him more and more. Now we are very good friends again and we both trust each other completely.

week 7, post 2

Unbalanced power relationships has certain effects on people but it also depends on which side you are on. An unbalanced power relationship I have encountered is between myself and my head coach. Head coaches know they have all of the power and pretty much control every aspect of their team. They also know that they can dictate who plays and who doesn’t play. I feel that some coaches go a little over board and go on a “power trip.” They have so much power that sometimes they do not even notice they are going overboard. From a personal experience my head coach last year loved to control every little thing and pretty much micro-managed our team. As a player with a coach like that, you have very little power. You almost feel like you a nothing and you have no say or no opinion and are not able to be yourself. This can lead to a very negative effect because you are pretty much a robot. On the other hand I have coached a little kids team, holding all of the power. When I was coaching I did not go on a “power trip” because I knew how much of a negative effect it had on me and my teammates. Having more power can be very dangerous because if you go on a “power trip” you may lose respect in that relationship.

week 7, post 1

I think trust is one of the key components in any relationship, whether it is romantic or just a friendship. There was one time where I lost trust in a really good friend of mine in college that I have known since early high school. We were great friends, always hung out and talked even though we went to different schools. I found out from someone that my friend was talking bad about me and telling people a bunch of things that were not true. I felt very betrayed and hurt that one of my really good friends would do something like that to me. For a while I did not speak to this person and after a while of not talking he called me and apologized for what he had done. Although I was very hurt by his actions I accepted his apology because I still wanted to be friends with him. At first it was difficult to trust him so I kept my guard up, but after a while we became just as close and even closer than we were before. We are still friends and we get along great now.

Week 5, post 3

The idea that I would like to take from this chapter is conflict and how hard it is for me to stop it. I chose this idea/concept because conflict happens on a daily basis with pretty much everyone. Conflict is almost impossible to prevent but I believe it is how you deal with it that makes it either a big conflict or a small conflict. I feel that I do not have a problem when dealing with conflict. I think I am able to solve conflicts pretty well. For example, the other day I was talking with my roommate on which one of us should drive to school. Neither of us wanted to and it started to become a conflict. I stepped back from the situation, kept myself calm, and looked at my side and his side. I drove the last time so it was his turn to drive. I felt it was unfair that I had to drive again and he just didn’t want to drive at all. In the end, I looked at both sides of the spectrum and we both came to the conclusion that he was going to drive because it was the fair thing to do. Although this conflict wasn’t a big conflict, it could’ve turned into something very big. By keeping myself calm and keeping a clear mind allowed this conflict to become resolved.

Week 5, post 2

When I talk to others I do a lot of different things. Sometimes I listen very carefully or I just do not even pay attention. For me, I think it depends on the type of conversation and what else is on my mind and going on with myself at the moment. When I am having a conversation and I am fully engaged in it, I am listening to what they are saying and I think of my own ideas or what I could say next to keep the conversation going. When I am having a conversation and I am not paying attention, everything is going in one ear and out the other. Although  I am not fully engaged and paying attention I do not lead that on to the person I am talking to because I do not want to be rude. When I pay full attention and am engaged in a conversation I can pretty much write down everything that person told me. I am able to do that because I have a very good memory and if I put my full attention into something I will almost always remember it. On the other hand, when I am not really listening while in a conversation I would not be able to write down what they said because I did not listen to what they were saying.  

Week 5, post 1

I think in life people will always have conflict. Conflict is something that is unavoidable and sometimes happens on a daily basis. However, I do not have a problem solving a conflict. Me being a male I think it is easier to settle a conflict. When a conflict arises between me and someone or something else I look at the big picture. I try to see what the situation is and how I got myself into it. After that, I try to see both sides of the conflict and see what the end result might be. I think one of the most efficient ways to solve a conflict is realizing the big picture. Also, most of the conflicts people have are made bigger than they actually are. In my opinion people try to turn something bigger than it actually is, causing a major conflict. I think if you stay calm and keep your cool you can solve every conflict you are in. In a conflict you might also have to compromise even if you don’t agree with what you are giving in to. Being flexible and not having an ego is very important when trying to deal with a conflict. Sometimes in a conflict I like to step away from the situation and take a “time out” allowing me to clear my head and collect my thoughts.

week 4, post 3

From this week’s reading the idea I liked the most was how communication majors make good mediators and how lawyers and psychotherapists find it difficult to play the role of mediator. Communication majors like myself have taken many types of communication courses that allow me to potentially be a good mediator. For example, I have taken class like public speaking, debates, persuasion, performance, etc. This kind of versatility allows me to be comfortable speaking in front of large crowds and have good posture, eye contact, and conviction. Physiotherapist would not make good mediators because they are taught to speak in a more closed setting and speaking out to large crowds. They also are used to keeping things secretive in order to protect their patients and make them feel safe. Lawyers would also not make effective mediators because they are used to being on one side and trying to persuade their audience to believe what they are saying. Also, lawyers tend to be more one sided and are not able to mediate. This concept that communication majors would make a good mediator really interested me and it gave me a perspective that being so versatile in the way I communicate can benefit me in the long run.

week 4, post 2

When we deal with intrapersonal conflicts we usually use techniques like fractionation, framing, reframing, and common ground. We also use these techniques for decision making. Sometimes when we are trying to decide what to do we might use these techniques in order to make a decision. For example, I am a baseball player at SJSU as well as a full time student, and taking classes at a community college. I often have to juggle baseball and school and it gets very difficult when I have papers or exams on the same day or on the same day I have a game. In this situation I can use fractionation in order to prioritize what I need to do for school and baseball. When using framing, I can decide what class needs more attention or if I have to focus on baseball more for that day. I can use reframing by having someone look at my schedule and obligations and help me out with what I should do. I can use common ground by splitting all of my attention for both my school work and baseball.  

Week 4, Post 1

Communication majors would be great at being mediators. When you study communications you learn many ways to communicate. I have taken classes for public speaking, persuasion, debates, performance, etc. I believe learning all of those types of ways to communicate would make communication majors great mediators because they are very versatile and they know how to communicate in many different ways. Having these communication skills also allows me to connect well in my social life. I know how to speak with good posture, eye contact, and even debate if I needed to. I think that psychotherapist would have a problem being a mediator because they are trained to speak in a smaller and more closed setting. Psychotherapists usually draw their attention to the patient and their needs and try to see how they can help their patient. Lawyers might have a difficult time effectively playing the role of a mediator because they are used to being on one side and trying to persuade their audience to believe what they are saying. Lawyers are tend to be more one sided and are not able to mediate.

Week 3, post 3

The concept/idea that I am going to talk about is the difference between punishing and disciplining a child. There are many definitions of punishment and discipline, and many people think they are pretty much the same thing. I believe that discipline is something that is done for you, not to you. Discipline is something that every child needs sometime throughout their lifetime in order to learn how to act in society. Discipline is much more of a positive influence than punishment. Discipline can be something like loss of playtime, taking toys away, and some occasional time outs. For example, when I was a young child I remember my behavior was out of line and as an act of discipline my mother did not let me go to baseball practice and instead I was on time out. At the time I was very angry and upset but in the end I think it helped me out. Once I cooled down my mother explained to me what I had done and that I cannot do that kind of thing in public. That is an example of a parent trying to discipline their child and trying to turn it into a positive experience. Punishment has to do more with physical and mental abuse. The example of what my mom did was not punishment because she wasn’t physically or mentally abusing me, she was trying to discipline me by doing something that what help me out in the long run.  

week 3, post 2

I think that there is a fine line between disciplining and punishing a child. I believe that discipline is something that is done for a person, not to them. Discipline is something that is needed in every child’s life as they are growing up and learning how to behave. I think that discipline has a way more positive influence than punishing a child. Like I said discipline is something done for you, not to you. For example: taking away toys, playtime, and some occasional time outs. Although the child may think that is very cruel and harsh, it is probably the best thing for them at the moment. I also think that as long as a child understands what they did wrong it will help them because they will hopefully learn from their mistakes. I do not think punishment is the way to go when dealing with a child. In my eyes punishment has to do with physical and mental abuse. Although they are both very bad and can damage a child throughout their life, mental abuse is probably the worst. I think mental abuse can scar a child for life and they will never let that feeling go. I think some parents overstep their parental authority with their children when something is not right in their own lives. I think things like stress at work and financial problems are some things that can lead a parent to overstepping their parental authority.

Week 3, Post 1

I use relationship-centered orientation when it comes to conflict. I like to talk things through and see what is going on and how to deal with certain situations. I like conflicts to be solved as quickly as possible and not linger around. I do not like uncertainty, which is another reason why I want conflict to be solved as quickly as possible. I think when you are speaking with someone that you are having conflict with it is crucial to know both perspectives and see where you can go from there. Listening to another person’s opinion is really important so you understand where they are coming from, and then you can let them know how you are feeling or thinking. I am satisfied with the way I deal with conflict most of the time. Most conflicts I have usually end up in a positive way, but there are also some times when things do not go my way during a conflict. I think I tend to favor relationship-centered orientation most of the time and it has worked out for me.  

Week 2,post 3

After reading the assigned readings from this week the idea or concept that I want to discuss is conflict. Conflict is everywhere you go and is somewhat unavoidable. The text also states that conflict will always be present. There will be disagreements or agreements, but there will always be a little conflict. Although conflict is always present it does not always have to be a bad or negative thing. For example, the other day I got into a little argument with my brother. We were trying to figure out what we were going to eat for lunch and we could not agree with one another. For whatever reason it got a little heated and we both wanted to go to a different restaurant. Then all of a sudden we realized this argument was not necessary and we compromised with one another. I view this conflict I had with my brother as a positive conflict because it brought us a little closer to one another and we ended up agreeing on a place to eat and had a great time.

Week 2, Post 2

After reading this chapter I think that most of, if not all of society takes a non-processing direction when it comes to communication, relationships, and conflict. For example, when a famous athlete, celebrity, or movie star does something, they will be instantly judged for their actions, whether it is something positive or negative. I think that keeping yourself away from a non-process view is very important. I think there are some extreme measures of non-processing. For example, if I saw a married couple arguing in public and the male gets physical with his wife, I would instantly have the mindset of evil. On the otherhand, if I saw a married couple and they seemed extremely happy and the husband was opening the door for her or pulling out a chair for her, I would instantly think good thoughts about him. I could change my thinking by observing a certain situation and assessing what is going on and then make my decision. I also think that it can be difficult to judge a certain situation unless you are involved in that situation. It can be very difficult to make a real good decision unless you know all of the details.  

Week 2, Post 1

I believe that humans have an instinct for conflict. Conflict seems to be very natural for humans and many people do not shy away from it. People have the ability to sense when a conflict is about to happen or has already happened. I believe that conflict is an instinctual trait because when you see people talking to one another, you can sort of tell how the conversation is going. You can read their body language, tone of voice, eye contact, etc. I also think that conflict is an inborn trait because if you see someone from your family arguing or fighting with one another, you are most likely not going to be in a good mood because you can tell that something is not right. I do not believe that this inborn trait makes anybody more or less human. I just think it is the norm for most people and as you grow up you become more and more instinctual. Being instinctual is a valuable asset to have because you can sense when you are in a good or a bad situation, and if you are in a bad situation you can try to remove yourself from it.  

Test

Hello everyone,

I am a senior here at SJSU. I grew up in San Mateo, California which is about thirty minutes north of San Jose. I live off campus but very close to school and I like it a lot more than when I lived on campus as a freshman. I am looking forward to this class and I am very excited to read everything you all have to say. I have always been interested in communications and all types of communication which is why I chose to major in Communication Studies. I do not have a fear with public speaking or having any kinds of communication with different types of people. My goal for this class is to understand communications better and earn a good grade in the course. I am also on the baseball team here at school and I have a lot of fun playing. Although it is very difficult to balance school, baseball, and my social life I think I do an alright job. Anyways, that is pretty much it about me. I look forward to hearing from you all throughout this semester.

-Simba