Week 5, post 3

The idea that I would like to take from this chapter is conflict and how hard it is for me to stop it. I chose this idea/concept because conflict happens on a daily basis with pretty much everyone. Conflict is almost impossible to prevent but I believe it is how you deal with it that makes it either a big conflict or a small conflict. I feel that I do not have a problem when dealing with conflict. I think I am able to solve conflicts pretty well. For example, the other day I was talking with my roommate on which one of us should drive to school. Neither of us wanted to and it started to become a conflict. I stepped back from the situation, kept myself calm, and looked at my side and his side. I drove the last time so it was his turn to drive. I felt it was unfair that I had to drive again and he just didn’t want to drive at all. In the end, I looked at both sides of the spectrum and we both came to the conclusion that he was going to drive because it was the fair thing to do. Although this conflict wasn’t a big conflict, it could’ve turned into something very big. By keeping myself calm and keeping a clear mind allowed this conflict to become resolved.

Week 5, post 2

When I talk to others I do a lot of different things. Sometimes I listen very carefully or I just do not even pay attention. For me, I think it depends on the type of conversation and what else is on my mind and going on with myself at the moment. When I am having a conversation and I am fully engaged in it, I am listening to what they are saying and I think of my own ideas or what I could say next to keep the conversation going. When I am having a conversation and I am not paying attention, everything is going in one ear and out the other. Although  I am not fully engaged and paying attention I do not lead that on to the person I am talking to because I do not want to be rude. When I pay full attention and am engaged in a conversation I can pretty much write down everything that person told me. I am able to do that because I have a very good memory and if I put my full attention into something I will almost always remember it. On the other hand, when I am not really listening while in a conversation I would not be able to write down what they said because I did not listen to what they were saying.  

Week 5, post 1

I think in life people will always have conflict. Conflict is something that is unavoidable and sometimes happens on a daily basis. However, I do not have a problem solving a conflict. Me being a male I think it is easier to settle a conflict. When a conflict arises between me and someone or something else I look at the big picture. I try to see what the situation is and how I got myself into it. After that, I try to see both sides of the conflict and see what the end result might be. I think one of the most efficient ways to solve a conflict is realizing the big picture. Also, most of the conflicts people have are made bigger than they actually are. In my opinion people try to turn something bigger than it actually is, causing a major conflict. I think if you stay calm and keep your cool you can solve every conflict you are in. In a conflict you might also have to compromise even if you don’t agree with what you are giving in to. Being flexible and not having an ego is very important when trying to deal with a conflict. Sometimes in a conflict I like to step away from the situation and take a “time out” allowing me to clear my head and collect my thoughts.

week 4, post 3

From this week’s reading the idea I liked the most was how communication majors make good mediators and how lawyers and psychotherapists find it difficult to play the role of mediator. Communication majors like myself have taken many types of communication courses that allow me to potentially be a good mediator. For example, I have taken class like public speaking, debates, persuasion, performance, etc. This kind of versatility allows me to be comfortable speaking in front of large crowds and have good posture, eye contact, and conviction. Physiotherapist would not make good mediators because they are taught to speak in a more closed setting and speaking out to large crowds. They also are used to keeping things secretive in order to protect their patients and make them feel safe. Lawyers would also not make effective mediators because they are used to being on one side and trying to persuade their audience to believe what they are saying. Also, lawyers tend to be more one sided and are not able to mediate. This concept that communication majors would make a good mediator really interested me and it gave me a perspective that being so versatile in the way I communicate can benefit me in the long run.

week 4, post 2

When we deal with intrapersonal conflicts we usually use techniques like fractionation, framing, reframing, and common ground. We also use these techniques for decision making. Sometimes when we are trying to decide what to do we might use these techniques in order to make a decision. For example, I am a baseball player at SJSU as well as a full time student, and taking classes at a community college. I often have to juggle baseball and school and it gets very difficult when I have papers or exams on the same day or on the same day I have a game. In this situation I can use fractionation in order to prioritize what I need to do for school and baseball. When using framing, I can decide what class needs more attention or if I have to focus on baseball more for that day. I can use reframing by having someone look at my schedule and obligations and help me out with what I should do. I can use common ground by splitting all of my attention for both my school work and baseball.  

Week 4, Post 1

Communication majors would be great at being mediators. When you study communications you learn many ways to communicate. I have taken classes for public speaking, persuasion, debates, performance, etc. I believe learning all of those types of ways to communicate would make communication majors great mediators because they are very versatile and they know how to communicate in many different ways. Having these communication skills also allows me to connect well in my social life. I know how to speak with good posture, eye contact, and even debate if I needed to. I think that psychotherapist would have a problem being a mediator because they are trained to speak in a smaller and more closed setting. Psychotherapists usually draw their attention to the patient and their needs and try to see how they can help their patient. Lawyers might have a difficult time effectively playing the role of a mediator because they are used to being on one side and trying to persuade their audience to believe what they are saying. Lawyers are tend to be more one sided and are not able to mediate.

Week 3, post 3

The concept/idea that I am going to talk about is the difference between punishing and disciplining a child. There are many definitions of punishment and discipline, and many people think they are pretty much the same thing. I believe that discipline is something that is done for you, not to you. Discipline is something that every child needs sometime throughout their lifetime in order to learn how to act in society. Discipline is much more of a positive influence than punishment. Discipline can be something like loss of playtime, taking toys away, and some occasional time outs. For example, when I was a young child I remember my behavior was out of line and as an act of discipline my mother did not let me go to baseball practice and instead I was on time out. At the time I was very angry and upset but in the end I think it helped me out. Once I cooled down my mother explained to me what I had done and that I cannot do that kind of thing in public. That is an example of a parent trying to discipline their child and trying to turn it into a positive experience. Punishment has to do more with physical and mental abuse. The example of what my mom did was not punishment because she wasn’t physically or mentally abusing me, she was trying to discipline me by doing something that what help me out in the long run.  

week 3, post 2

I think that there is a fine line between disciplining and punishing a child. I believe that discipline is something that is done for a person, not to them. Discipline is something that is needed in every child’s life as they are growing up and learning how to behave. I think that discipline has a way more positive influence than punishing a child. Like I said discipline is something done for you, not to you. For example: taking away toys, playtime, and some occasional time outs. Although the child may think that is very cruel and harsh, it is probably the best thing for them at the moment. I also think that as long as a child understands what they did wrong it will help them because they will hopefully learn from their mistakes. I do not think punishment is the way to go when dealing with a child. In my eyes punishment has to do with physical and mental abuse. Although they are both very bad and can damage a child throughout their life, mental abuse is probably the worst. I think mental abuse can scar a child for life and they will never let that feeling go. I think some parents overstep their parental authority with their children when something is not right in their own lives. I think things like stress at work and financial problems are some things that can lead a parent to overstepping their parental authority.

Week 3, Post 1

I use relationship-centered orientation when it comes to conflict. I like to talk things through and see what is going on and how to deal with certain situations. I like conflicts to be solved as quickly as possible and not linger around. I do not like uncertainty, which is another reason why I want conflict to be solved as quickly as possible. I think when you are speaking with someone that you are having conflict with it is crucial to know both perspectives and see where you can go from there. Listening to another person’s opinion is really important so you understand where they are coming from, and then you can let them know how you are feeling or thinking. I am satisfied with the way I deal with conflict most of the time. Most conflicts I have usually end up in a positive way, but there are also some times when things do not go my way during a conflict. I think I tend to favor relationship-centered orientation most of the time and it has worked out for me.  

Week 2,post 3

After reading the assigned readings from this week the idea or concept that I want to discuss is conflict. Conflict is everywhere you go and is somewhat unavoidable. The text also states that conflict will always be present. There will be disagreements or agreements, but there will always be a little conflict. Although conflict is always present it does not always have to be a bad or negative thing. For example, the other day I got into a little argument with my brother. We were trying to figure out what we were going to eat for lunch and we could not agree with one another. For whatever reason it got a little heated and we both wanted to go to a different restaurant. Then all of a sudden we realized this argument was not necessary and we compromised with one another. I view this conflict I had with my brother as a positive conflict because it brought us a little closer to one another and we ended up agreeing on a place to eat and had a great time.

Week 2, Post 2

After reading this chapter I think that most of, if not all of society takes a non-processing direction when it comes to communication, relationships, and conflict. For example, when a famous athlete, celebrity, or movie star does something, they will be instantly judged for their actions, whether it is something positive or negative. I think that keeping yourself away from a non-process view is very important. I think there are some extreme measures of non-processing. For example, if I saw a married couple arguing in public and the male gets physical with his wife, I would instantly have the mindset of evil. On the otherhand, if I saw a married couple and they seemed extremely happy and the husband was opening the door for her or pulling out a chair for her, I would instantly think good thoughts about him. I could change my thinking by observing a certain situation and assessing what is going on and then make my decision. I also think that it can be difficult to judge a certain situation unless you are involved in that situation. It can be very difficult to make a real good decision unless you know all of the details.